When I was a senior in highschool I took a photography class. I had always been fascinated by photography & the idea that we could freeze time with a camera. I loved that by simply telling someone to smile you were able to create a fabricated moment. It didn't matter what was happening before or after the photograph was taken, that smile told a story that we would remember forever, as fact. My dad encouraged my love of photography by turning the tiny kitchen of our apartment into a dark room. When I graduated high school, after four photography classes, he threw me a graduation party that was an art show of my work. We took down everything off the walls of our apartment & hung my mounted photographs. Pictures of my siblings with fake black eyes, still life shots of studded collars & combat boots, self portraits of a girl balancing on the edge of real life and childhood, all on display. Those photographs told a story that was edited for an audience. Everything about me is edited for an audience, even now, when I try not to tell a false story. There is something manipulative about art, about expressing yourself through a silent medium on paper or film. A polaroid photo can be smeared & scratched while developing, becoming distorted, unrecognizable. Underneath though, the picture exists the way it did when you looked through the viewfinder, regardless of what we see now. Smile, say cheese, snap a photo, create a memory, but never forget the truth. Never let yourself freeze time & forget the effort it took to smile.
